What to say to someone who is hoping to die?

What to say to someone who is hoping to die?I have a question about someone wanting to die. This is not one of those pitty things. This is a serious question from a caretaker. My grandmother is 72. She is a severe diabetic, has had an autoimmune flesh eating disease, recent shingles and 4 miniature strokes. She is severely incontinent and is very very depressed and on several anti-psychotics. She also has a pain disorder called gout that causes her lots of body pain. She can not walk more than about 100 feet on good days with the assistance of a walker and can not walk any distance without it. She is constantly telling me that she would just rather die and go be with her husband and grandson that have passed on (in heaven she means) and get out of this world and stop burdening us with her incessant needs.

My question is, what do I say to that. How do I make her see that we are not burdened by having to care for her and dont want her to die. She may be sick but is far too healthy (at this point) to be passing away. Is there some sort of reverse psychology I could try with her? Something that might make her see that the people she is around on a day to day basis are worth living for and are worth being around?

Please help a stressed out caregiver!

Thanks so much in advance!

Shy
Try telling her how much you care about her..and that she means so much too you..

ReggioLegato
Tell her how much she means to you and that you love her and that she is family. Tell her what it would be like without her. Then you can tell her that she shouldn't "hope to die"

2 Gutta
It aint really much you can do because she still can wish she was dead but tell u something way different....

Rachelle
Well, she probably feels that there isn't much more she can do. But, the truth is, she can still touch a lot of lives. She needs to see that this is still possible and she cannot know what the future will hold. Maybe sit down and make a list of ways that she has touched your life - both in big things and in small, day-to-day things, and then note how, specifically, it affected or changed your life for the better. If you can get other friends/family members to do the same, even better! The sit down with her and discuss these in detail. If she has touched your lives in these ways, then she can still do the same - even in little ways like a hug, a smile, when she has a good day and it encourages you to do something. I think that people feel they have to contribute in a big way or else they are useless. If she can see that she doesn't have to be able to make big gestures, she may feel better. Let her know how caring for her has improved you as a person. Again, be specific. If she's still discouraged, you can even have some specifics ready as to what your life would be like without her - the negative ways that her absence would affect you and other family members. Even if she cannot walk far, there have been people who have been bedridden for years and still touched people's lives - without having to do big things. It's all in the little things, and she needs to know that. Also, finding a hobby that she can still enjoy might make a big difference for her. If you or others can participate in that hobby with her, then even better!

Also, as a side note, I have a suggestion that may help with some of her health problems, too. You mentioned autoimmune disorder and shingles. If she has had infections of one kind or another lately, then taking colloidal silver might be very beneficial. I have personally (in myself or people I directly know) seen it cure strep throat, small infections, aid in reducing candida problems, cure cold sores (which is the herpes virus, I believe - considered incurable by doctors), hepatitis c (also considered incurable, but I know TWO people who cured their Hep C with it), and an 'incurable' blood infection - the doctors said this infection wasn't responding to meds and this person had only hours left to live, but he is very much alive and healthy today. The thing to know is that it's not recommended for continual use for more than 2-3 months or so, it's important to buy high quality colloidal silver from a health food store, not from someone who makes it themselves, the best concentration is between 10-15ppm (but less is acceptable if necessary, just take a little more to compensate), and the best dosage is between 1-3tsp, 1-3x/day, depending on the ailment. Maybe if this helps her to feel a little better physically and takes some of the stress off of her immune system and body, she will be a little more chipper.

LadyLynn
Just tell her that this is not yet her time to go. There is a reason for all of her suffering. It's a mystery to us, but G0d never gives us more than we can handle.
Tell her to be strong, and how much you and her family members love her and still need her.

What YOU can do is be sure her doctor is giving her what she needs for the pain. Chronic pain is the worse. No wonder she wants to die. You have to make sure she has a doctor who isn't afraid to recognize that she may need something stronger than he's giving her for the pain. It's legal for him to give her Morphine Sulphate, or Fiorinal with Codeine, just to mention a couple. If he won't, find her another doctor.

No one should have to live in pain in the 21st century! That's my pet, pet PEEVE! :(

You sound like such a caring person, so keep up the good work. All I can give you is a star. :) :)

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments! Gout - information, symptoms and treatments. Googout.info health information factsheet - advice on gout and its symptoms, causes and treatment, plus prevention through diet.

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