i feel like we go through phases in our relationships..times when things are going really good and we spend every moment talking to one another, to times when he seems to be with his friends alot and i feel pushed off to the side
this starts a vicious cycle, where i feel like he doesnt wanna spend time with me (im always willing to sit at home and talk to him), and i make a fuss when he wants to spend time with his friends,which makes him wnat to spend time with them even more..and i come off like a nag...
but part of me feels like hes taking me for granted, ..and im really not sure what to do
everytime i try talking to him about him, he thinks i just want him to sit at home and talk to me and not have fun..i just wish things werent so extreme, like does he have to gout and get drunk till 6am..
and im going thru my finals right now, and when he went thru his finals i would sit with him on the computer and help him study...and it kinda sucks that he cant even stay at home for me ..instead hes out partying or whatever...am i expecting too much? anyone see where im coming from?
i know this marraige section, but i wanted the opinion of people who have been in a long term relationship and have more experience. thanks!
Tapestry6
You are on 2 different paths for right now they are parallel but I don't see those path merging. You might want to look for a new boyfriend, he isn't mature and you need to find someone that is a bit more committed in your maturity level or you will be his 'mother' not a good wife..
Mean Carleen
You shouldn't expect him to do as you do because he is who HE is. There is nothing wrong with you asking him to study with you sometimes and there is nothing wrong with him going out with friends sometimes. Its called compromise. NO relationship can work without compromising.
missydeeste2003
Im 44 , been married twice, and Im telling you he's very immature and selfish, BUT! Most men are until they are 50...and some never stop being that way, so your young i'd start seeing other people to be sure.
True
First of all, never do something for someone and expect the same in return. You set yourself up for failure that way.
Secondly, the overall theme of your question is inconsiderateness.
He has no consideration towards your feelings and what you are going through. He doesn't want to meet you half way. You need to speak up and tell him your point of view. You didn't give your age but if you are in grad school I'm guess middle to upper 20s. He sounds like he's taking this time to continue partying. And it may be a while before he gets out of this phase.
kittykatsback
No it is not fair.
True's post is very dead on.
To be honest, men (even married men) don't like it when their women are "too" available. Start focusing on YOUR life and goals and stop being his mother and policeman and maybe he will look at you with lust again,
You BOTH should have friends and outside interests. It is healthy.
Orignal From: is it fair of me to expect him to act the same ...?
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