13 year old son serious problems?

13 year old son serious problems?Hi everyone i have a 13 year old son turning 14 in june. He was adopted when he was 8. He is our nephew his mom was a druggie abusive mother. He remembered allot of what happened when he was a child. We aren't the richest, he still deals with problems of his dad in and out. But back to the present, he has a nice life he is very smart, is great at basketball plays on a AAU team and travel etc. He is very good at football. He has many friends everyone is always saying how nice he is. We are told by his friends he has had many girlfriends and hes always hanging otu with girls. The first suprise is when i was looking for a old lacrosse stick for his brother and saw a box that smelled very weird. I opened it to find a bag of condoms, birth control pills, and girls panties and a used condom. And a picture of him and the girl having sex. That gout me mad when we questioned him he said that he has been sexually active for the past 7 months. And the worst part at our house when we are at work till 5. We told him no more took away all privileges. He said no more. Then recently the past month hes had a huge attitude change of being rude and coming home odd hours when we say no. After party's, barmitzvahs he always feels the need to have a sleep over. He is always asking for more money even though we don't have any. He is a wonderful kid i assure you i love him but i know it isn't puberty either this is something else. One night he had basketball the following morning of a bat mitzvah thinking he could have a sleep over we came and went in to get him. He smelled this weird smell of skunk i think i had no idea what it was. He was stuttering and acting extremely weird. Whenever he comes home from a friends house he doesn't say much and runs to his room and locks the door. I don't know if its drugs or what i don't know allot about drugs. Then the worst part is one day i was on the computer and saw on it , it said " ya dude bring it to the party well do it in the back with everyone" I left it open for him to come home and started asking what ti was he flipped out and said leave me alone. He always eats so much and stays skinny. Finally one day i went home after work and the house smelled like smoke and skunk . I went to his brothers room and asked what it was and he said he doesn't know that his older brother told him to stay in their. I went to his room and walked in to see him on the ground sleeping with another friend. I found a joint with i think it was marijuana. I am going to get a drug test soon but he denies it saying that he didn't do it. i don't know what to do how could he get this where what should i do and it s not only him half of his school i heard does it. All the parents complain about it.
Can you explain everything about marijuana and what he may be doing and stuff like that
thank you!!

Kush & Orange Juice
Hes probably just trying to let loose, he probably still has trouble about his past and wants to forget, This is deff not the worst thing that he could be doing, if anything you should be grateful he isnt resorting to pills etc, its just marijuana, i say let it go, atleast he is doing it in the comfort of his home and not on the streets

Happy 4/20 :)

misha
He's hanging around bad people (maybe chavs) and they influence him. He's going through peer pressure.

Get him in control now or you'll lose him.

And, obviously he'll deny taking drugs. He won't openly tell you that he's addicted.

smile
again try to talk to him
or try the school counselor by phone or in person
let the school counselor know you concerns
i have two my daughter 14 and my son 12

my daughter she is the more im concern with
anything i dont feel confortable i call the couselor
they reach to them
of course my daughter gives me attitude but i tell her
because i care im looking for HELP OR ADVISE
we need to act quick
we were teenagers once - we know theres alot of temptetion out there
so, we are just trying for them to avoid them
i did - my mom was on top of me sooner or later she catch up to me
so im trying my best with my girl
my best wishes to you

warneal69
Seems to me he was doing fairly well (attitude-wise) right up to the point that you punished him for telling you the truth.

I gotta tell you, I'd form an attitude too if I had been punished for giving an honest answer.

You handled it poorly when he told you he was sexually active and had been so for the last 7 months. If your going to fix this, your going to need better parenting skills then what you've demonstrated so far.

There are literally hundreds of websites advising parents on how to handle these kind of situations. My advise to you would be to put some energy into researching them.

In Repair
The hardest thing about being a parent is when you have to deal with the issues that you are dealing with now. You are doing the right thing by staying in his business. He probably does hold issues from his childhood past but that does not give him the right to break the rules. You need to let him know that as long as he lives under your roof, he has to abide by your rules. If he is doing drugs, and he is using his room as a refuge, take the locks off. If he continues the behavior, take the door off. At 13 years old, really this is way to young to be experimenting in sex and drugs. Get ahold of him now before it is too late.

I suggest the family go to counseling and if he continues the behavior you may have to resort to some sort of boot camp for teens or a military school. Hopefully it won't go that far but you have to be strong and not worry about him hating you. He will turn out ok if you get a handle on the situation right now.

Sports are a good way to keep a kid focused and busy so keep him involved in as many activities as possible with the right kids. The less spare time he has on his hands the better off he will be. Just keep reminding him how much you two love him and want the best for him.

I hope everything works out for you.

What do you think? Answer below! Gout - information, symptoms and treatments. Googout.info health information factsheet - advice on gout and its symptoms, causes and treatment, plus prevention through diet.

---

Orignal From: 13 year old son serious problems?