How can I become closer to my estranged uncle?

How can I become closer to my estranged uncle?My uncle (dad's first cousin) is the black sheep of our family. I don't know what happened exactly but from what they tell me it was just that he wasted his whole life away, did nothing when my grandad (who practically raised him) passed away and didn't so much as visit him, and he did a couple of other things that officially had him estranged from the family. They haven't spoken to him or his wife and kid in almost 20 years, and it's sad. I've never gotten to know him, but I'm determined to because I feel very sorry for him.

I added him about five months ago on FB. We never really talked though I did try by commenting on some of his pics, but I got no response.

Recently I wrote on my status that I was feeling depressed and I didn't care about anything any more. That led to a very brief exchange but it started to get us to the talking stage.

I learned that my uncle has gout and I feel even sorrier for him. I'm not that close to him though so I can't be really intimate or overly familiar with my responses to him. We started talking about prescriptions for his condition. I asked him if he was taking those steroid injections and he replied that he was taking medication that would suit a horse.

The conversation is now awkward and blank. I really want to get to know him better, and it's clear my uncle wants to get to know me too. What can I say and what can I do? He seems like a really nice guy.

I can't speak about family right away because it's a very heated topic and it's going to only piss him off, so bonding over family is out of the question. His wife cheated on him and left him, so that's another topic we can't even discuss. His son is living his own life, and it's too weird to ask him randomly about his kid just like that.

So what are some pointers for getting to know him better?

sfmca5
I have experience is being the "black sheep" of the family. What I would suggest is to just send him a message saying "Hi, How are you today?" People like to know they are thought of and he is no different.

Share a little about your life and I am sure he will share some in return. Remember that family issues are tough. Baby steps as they say...One day at a time and one message at a time.

I do think it is cool that you are trying to connect with him though.

Good Luck!

Add your own answer in the comments! Gout - information, symptoms and treatments. Googout.info health information factsheet - advice on gout and its symptoms, causes and treatment, plus prevention through diet.

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